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Cows Corner
Cows Corner is your go-to destination for unique, sports-inspired apparel and accessories, blending humour, passion, and a love for various games. Whether you’re a player, fan, or just appreciate a witty take on sports culture, our collection of premium-quality T-shirts, hoodies, and accessories is designed to stand out. With bold designs, funny slogans, and a deep connection to the sport.
If you've ever winced at a mate’s first touch or just love a bit of pitchside banter, this hoodie’s for you.
Bold, funny, and absolutely spot on, our "Your First Touch Is a Crime Against Football" hoodie is perfect for football fanatics who don't take themselves too seriously, but still know how to land a good jab, verbally at least.
Made for comfort and laughs, this black hoodie is ideal for match day meet-ups, five-a-side nights, or just winding up your mates at the pub.
Whether you're the Sunday league superstar or the one who still can't trap a bag of cement, this one’s guaranteed to get a chuckle (or groan).
Product Features:
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Soft, cosy material for year-round wear
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Classic fit with ribbed cuffs and hem
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Unisex sizing: available in 2XS, S, M, L, 2XL, 3XL & 4XL
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High-quality print in bold white
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Machine washable and built to last
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Black colourway that goes with everything – even questionable football skills
Perfect for:
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Football fans with a sense of humour
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Mates who think they should’ve gone pro
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Sunday league squads with more chat than control
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Banter kings (and queens) looking for their next statement piece
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Birthday or Christmas gifts for football lovers
Get one for yourself, or stitch up a mate with a perfectly timed present. It’s the ultimate warm-up top for the world’s worst first touch – or just a great laugh in hoodie form.
Ready to turn heads and raise laughs? Stick this in your basket and let the banter begin. Stock won’t hang around like a loose ball in the six-yard box – grab yours now.
Cows Corner Product Specifications
Cows Corner T-shirt specification.
Manufacturer code |
AT001J |
Commodity Code |
6109100010 |
Country of origin |
Bangladesh |
Material |
Heather grey 90% cotton/10% viscose. |
Colour |
Colour representation is only as accurate as the web design process allows. |
*Product specifications may vary depending on stock levels and availability. An identical alternative will fulfil the order if the above product is unavailable.
Domestic Shipping
UK delivery is £4.99 per order and free with a minimum spend of £50
Shipment processing time
All orders are processed within 1-2 business days, depending on the time of the year. Orders are not shipped or delivered on weekends or holidays.
If we are experiencing a high volume of orders, shipments may be delayed by a few days. Please allow additional days in transit for delivery. If there is a significant delay in the shipment of your order, we will contact you via email or telephone.
Shipping rates & delivery estimates
Shipping charges for your order will be calculated and displayed at checkout.
Shipment method |
Estimated delivery time |
EVRi/DPD/DHL |
2-4 business days |
Delivery delays can occasionally occur.
Shipment confirmation & Order tracking
You will receive a Shipment Confirmation email once your order contains your tracking number(s). The tracking number will be active within 24 hours.
International Shipping Policy
International shipping costs
Europe - £19.95 per order
The rest of the world - £24.95 per order
Shipment processing time
All orders are processed within 1-2 business days. Orders are not shipped or delivered on weekends or holidays.
If we are experiencing a high volume of orders, shipments may be delayed by a few days. Please allow additional days in transit for delivery. If there is a significant delay in the shipment of your order, we will contact you via email or telephone.
Shipping rates & delivery estimates
Shipping charges for your order will be calculated and displayed at checkout.
Shipment method |
Estimated delivery time |
DHL Express |
EU 3-5 business days |
Delivery delays can occasionally occur.
Shipment confirmation & Order tracking
You will receive a Shipment Confirmation email once your order contains your tracking number(s). The tracking number will be active within 24 hours.
Customs, Duties and Taxes
Cows Corner is not responsible for customs and taxes on your order. The customer is responsible for all fees imposed during or after shipping tariffs, taxes, etc.).
Damages
Trogon Cricket Ltd is not liable for damaged or lost products during shipping. If you received your damaged order, don't hesitate to contact the shipment carrier to file a claim.
Please save all packaging materials and damaged goods before filing a claim.
Your First Touch Is a Crime Against Football FAQs
What does it mean to give someone a hoodie as a gift?
What does it mean to give someone a hoodie as a gift?
Gifting a hoodie often represents comfort, warmth, and familiarity, but when it comes to our “Your First Touch Is a Crime Against Football” hoodie, it’s also about showing you know the recipient’s love for football and banter. It’s the perfect way to say “I saw this and thought of your terrible touch.”
Is a funny hoodie a good birthday present?
Is a funny hoodie a good birthday present?
Absolutely. A hoodie that combines humour with a passion for football is a guaranteed birthday win. It’s personal, practical and will get laughs from friends and family, especially if the birthday boy or girl is known for their not-so-silky skills.
Who would appreciate a football-themed hoodie like this?
Who would appreciate a football-themed hoodie like this?
This hoodie is ideal for football fans with a strong sense of humour. Think Sunday league players, five-a-side regulars, armchair pundits, or mates who love a bit of matchday mickey-taking. If they’ve ever blamed their boots for a bad touch, this is for them.
Can I buy this hoodie for Christmas as a joke gift?
Can I buy this hoodie for Christmas as a joke gift?
Yes, and you should. This football hoodie makes a brilliant Secret Santa gift or stocking filler, especially for mates or brothers who always talk a big game. It’s one of those gifts that’s funny on the day and wearable all year.
Does this hoodie come in sizes suitable for everyone?
Does this hoodie come in sizes suitable for everyone?
It does! With sizes ranging from 2XS to 4XL, this hoodie is made to fit all shapes and squad sizes. Whether you're shopping for a teenager or a grown-up football fanatic, you'll find the right fit to score points with your gift.
Your First Touch Is a Crime Against Football, Funny Hoodie for Football Fans
Football is the beautiful game – but some first touches deserve a red card on their own. If you know someone whose ball control is more Sunday pub than Sunday league, this bold black hoodie is the perfect way to call it out, all in the name of top-tier banter.
Designed for fans who love football as much as they love winding up their mates, this hoodie is a must-have for anyone who knows their stepovers from their stumbles.
Made for fans, not finesse
Whether it’s for post-match pints, warming up before kick-off, or lounging about while Match of the Day does its thing, this hoodie delivers laughs and comfort in equal measure. It’s soft, warm, and bang on when it comes to dropping a perfectly timed insult – without saying a word. With a clean white print on a solid black hoodie, it pairs perfectly with jeans, joggers, or even football shorts if you’re feeling brave.
🎯 Who’s it for?
This hoodie is ideal for:
- ⚽ Anyone who lives and breathes football, even if they can’t trap a bag of cement
- 😆 Mates who can take a joke and give it back just as hard
- 🏆 Sunday league heroes with a sense of humour
- 📺 Armchair pundits who’ve “seen it all before”
- 🎁 Anyone who loves a clever football-related gift
🎁 Perfect for gifting on these occasions:
- 🎉 Birthdays – especially for football-mad mates and brothers
- 🎄 Christmas – ideal for Secret Santa or stocking fillers with a twist
- 👬 Best mate banter – just because they still owe you for that sitter they missed
- 💡 Leaving dos or team send-offs – guaranteed to raise a laugh
- 🎂 Milestone ages like 18, 21 or 30 – all about memorable laughs
📦 Product Features:
- 🖤 Classic black hoodie with bold white slogan: “Your First Touch Is a Crime Against Football”
- 📐 Sizes: 2XS, S, M, L, 2XL, 3XL & 4XL – suitable for all shapes and squad sizes
- 🧵 Premium print that won’t fade in the wash
- 🛋️ Soft, cosy material that keeps you warm pre- and post-match
- 🧼 Machine washable and low maintenance
💬 Why it sells
This isn’t just another novelty hoodie, it’s a piece of football culture in wearable form. Funny, relatable and seriously comfortable, it’s a talking point wherever it’s worn.
If you’re buying a gift for a football fan who’s always got something to say, this is your go-to. Or if you fancy making a statement at your next five-a-side match, now’s your moment.
Add it to your basket today and get ready to deliver the ultimate dressing room dig – all without saying a word. Perfectly timed for birthdays, Christmas or just because they need to hear the truth.
Don’t wait too long – once it’s gone, it’s gone. And unlike your mate’s first touch, this is actually worth holding onto. 👟

Design Your Own AI Designed Product
products | ai designs
Looking for something truly unique? Design your own sports gifts in seconds with our AI tool.
From a cricket hoodie your teen will actually wear to a tennis bottle personalised with Dad’s favourite quote, you can create custom gear that’s as fun and original as they are.
Perfect for sporty kids, proud parents, and anyone who lives and breathes the game.

Personalise Gift Boxes for Special Occasions
products | gift boxes
Want to wow a cricket-mad partner or surprise your rugby-obsessed kid?
Our custom gift boxes turn great presents into unforgettable ones.
Packed with personalised touches and sporty flair, they’re perfect for birthdays, big wins, or just showing you care. It’s the kind of gift that feels made just for them, because it is.

Funny Sports Hoodies
products | hoodies
Stay warm, look sharp, and get the laughs.
Our rugby hoodies aren’t just cosy, they’re conversation starters.
Whether you're on the sidelines at school cricket or heading out for a chilly Sunday golf round, these hoodies bring comfort and character.
Designed for adults but loved by sporty kids too, they’re the perfect fit for fans who like their style with a side of humour

Funny Sports Mugs
products | mugs
Morning brews just got a sporting upgrade.
Whether it’s cricket chat, rugby rants, or golf grumbles, our mugs are made for fans who like their tea with a side of banter.
Designed with grown-ups in mind (and safely out of reach from little hands), these mugs bring humour to your daily routine, one sip at a time

T-shirt With a Smile
product | t-shirt
From cricket-loving dads to tennis-mad mums, and everyone who appreciates a cheeky football pun, our funny sports T-shirts bring the laughs wherever you go.
With bold designs and sizes for both grown-ups and kids, they’re made for match days, school runs, and everything in between.
Sport your sense of humour in style, on or off the pitch

Upload Your Own Images to Products
product | own images
Captured a classic football moment? Turn it into something unforgettable.
Upload your favourite photos and create custom T-shirts, mugs, bottles and more, ideal for gifting to proud parents, teammates, or young players who’ll wear it with pride.
It’s your memory, your way, made into a one-of-a-kind keepsake they’ll never forget

Funny Sports Baby Grows
product | baby grows
Start their sporting journey in style.
Our funny baby grows are made for the tiniest fans, with playful designs that rugby mums, cricket dads, and proud families can’t get enough of.
Soft, comfy, and full of personality, they’re perfect for showing off your future star, whether they’re snoozing, crawling, or practising their first victory pose

Funny Sports Water Bottles
product | water bottles
Stay hydrated and bring the laughs.
Whether you're coaching the kids’ football squad or serving up aces on court, our funny sports bottles add character to every sip.
Built for match days, gym sessions, and sideline banter, they’re the ultimate blend of function and fun, because your bottle should be as bold as your game.